My Heart
by AZNKIM
Summary: Based off what I would want to happen in 5x04. Elena spends all day trying to get Stefan to remember. Why is it though that all the places she brings him to are special memories to them both? Will Stefan remember their love? Will it change Elena? R&R. Minor SongFic.


**Just saw the promo for 5x04! I don't have high hopes that Stelena is getting back together in that episode but I just love all their moments! Here is an idea that has been floating around in my head for a conversation between Elena and Stefan to have on his lost memories.**

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Stefan had no idea what his life had been 24 hours ago, or who all these people were in this town but he would try his best to figure out what to do next. Waking up on the couch in a house he didn't remember, with a guy and a girl he didn't know was beyond strange. What happened to him that he couldn't remember?

Stefan's mind kept going back to the look on that girls face... She looked so... Relieved that he had woken up, like he was very important to her, but for the life of him he didn't remember anything about her. Yet, Elena had spent almost the whole day with him, trying to trigger his memories, trying to help him remember. What if though, he wasn't supposed to remember, maybe whatever he forgot was for the better...

"_Does any of this feel familiar Stefan?"_ Elena said to him, snapping him out of his thoughts.

They were standing at the edge of a dock, looking out to a lake. The view was beautiful but nothing about it seemed familiar. What memory of his was here and was it really important?

"_No, nothing. It's a beautiful place Elena but it holds nothing for me." _Stefan told her. He turned to face her. She was standing behind him, arms crossed, clearly tired of nothing working out. He needed to know why she needed him to remember so badly; why she was going through all this trouble for him.

"_What do I need to remember Elena? Why is it so important to you that I get my memories back?"_ Stefan turned around to her, standing a few steps away from her.

Even though Stefan didn't remember what they once had, Elena did... And the way he was looking at her right now was the look that could always reach deep down into her soul and make her feel like they were the only people on the planet and nothing else mattered but them.

"_Memories are too important Stefan..."_ Elena said looking into his eyes, trying to trigger something deep within him like he was doing to her. It was Stefan, they needed him back, she needed him back.

"_What if I'm not meant to remember Elena? What if I lost my memories for the better and this is how it's supposed to be for me?"_ He questioned her. He was so confused. This girl clearly cared deeply for him, the old him but whatever they shared was in the past. But he couldn't help this feeling that he was somehow being drawn to this girl.

Elena was stunned. How was she going to answer him? She was being selfish trying to make him remember their love when she was with his brother. Bringing him back was better for her but not for him. Stefan would finally have a chance to be happy, but he would have to forget her for that to happen.

Could she do that? Could she finally let him go? When she asked herself those questions, the only answer that came to mind is that she really didn't want to, even when she knew she should. She was with Damon, she should want to be happy with Damon, yet standing here all she wanted was for Stefan to hold her in arms and tell her he loved her like he did the first time they were here. "

"_**Do you ever think about us? What our future will be like? Our memories?"**_

"_**This is a future memory. It's where your boyfriend whispered to you, that he loved you."**_

"_Elena? Are you okay? You look pretty deep in thought there, you remembering something from here?"_ Stefan asked her. Clearly amused, watching her trying to figure out what was going on in her mind in this moment.

"_Yeah, I'm okay. Just remembering something someone told me here once and how happy I was back then..."_ Elena smiled looking back to Stefan. This was their future... And this is not what she wanted for them. They should have been happy together, that's what they wanted, what she wanted once. When had that changed for her? When did she lose sight of all that they were together?

"_You want to talk about it? It doesn't look like just any memory Elena. I may not remember any of mine but I still know the look of something important..."_ Stefan said as his eyes met hers. He moved closer to comfort her, reaching out his hand to graze her cheek. It should have felt weird to him to do such an intimate gesture to someone he barely knew but instead it was the only thing that felt familiar the whole day.

Elena leaned into his touch. He always knew how to comfort her with anything. He knew exactly how to make her feel like home. Home was anywhere he was. She fell into him and he wrapped his arms around her and tried to comfort her. Elena knew this was wrong, but right now she really didn't care.

_"I'm so sorry Stefan. I never wanted this for you, for us."_ Elena sobbed into Stefan's arms. He only tightened his hold on her.

_"What are you talking about Elena? What's going on?"_ Stefan pulled himself away a little, only so he could look into her beautiful eyes glowing with tears. He wished so badly he understood what she meant. What was happening with them, or what had happened?

Stefan didn't even have time to think about what he was doing next. It was like something inside him was making his actions for him, taking over his body. He leaned in closer to Elena's face, going in for the kiss he suddenly craved. Their lips connected for a split second when Stefan felt something in him click and all these memories came flooding to his mind. He could barely process them as they all flashed by.

"_**I'm Elena." "I'm Stefan." "I know, we have history together."**_

"_**I met a girl, we talked, it was epic."**_

"_**I know this is hard to understand, but I'm doing this for you."**_

"_**Don't walk away Stefan!"**_

"_**If you walk away its for you because I know what I want. Stefan I love you."**_

"_**You are the woman that I love. I love you."**_

"_**Stefan I'm not going to give up on you!"**_

"_**I'm going to help you pull through"**_

"_**I'm afraid of what I could do to you." I'm not. Stefan, I'm not."**_

"_**I knew you'd catch me"**_

"_**I love you Stefan, hold onto that. Never let that go.."**_

"_**No matter what happens, it's the best choice I've ever made"**_

Elena held Stefan up as he pushed away from her. She didn't know what to do or what was happening to him. She had never felt more helpless than she did right now.

"_Stefan! What's happening Stefan?! What can I do?!"_ Elena tried to ask him, but all he could do was groan back in response. Then as quickly as it began, it stopped and Stefan stood back up at her, exhausted from whatever had just happened to him. But this time, when he looked at her she noticed something had changed. It was him. He was back.

"_Elena..? What's going on? Why are we here?"_ Stefan asked her. What the hell was going on? The last thing he remembered was being with Tessa in that cabin. How was he all of a sudden standing here with Elena at her cabin house of all places? Where was Damon?

"_Are you okay? What happened?!"_ Elena asked back, concerned about him.

"_I just feel like my brain has gone through memory overload. All of our memories... What's going on Elena?"_ Stefan asked again more seriously; making eye contact with her, trying to read her emotions. She looked uncomfortable, not knowing what to do next, what to say next.

"_Silas... He, um. I found you tied to a chair in that cabin, passed out. Tessa did some sort of spell to hurt Silas and when Damon and I brought you home, you woke up after a couple of hours but you didn't have any of your memories. You had no idea who we were Stefan..."_ Elena tried to explain to him. She felt horrible, she didn't want Stefan to hurt anymore but all she was doing was hurting him it felt like.

"_So you were trying to remind me... By bringing me here?"_ He questioned her. None of this was making any sense to him. Elena was with his brother, why would she bring him here to remember anything.

"_We've been going all over the city to places, hoping you would remember..." _Elena said quietly to Stefan.

"_You brought me to places we shared memories together? Why Elena..?"_ Stefan knew he shouldn't be bringing this up but he needed to know. She was still with Damon right? She chose his brother. So why would she want to help him remember in all the places they shared together and not by reading his journals or other places.

"_I know it's not fair to you Stefan... I feel terrible, but all summer I had this connection to you that something was wrong; that you were in pain. It's how we found you; I saw you burning outside before you were taken to the cabin. The only thing I knew that could be strong enough to bring you back was..."_ Elena cut herself off, breaking eye contact and looking towards the ground, ashamed at herself.

"_...Was my love for you..."_ Stefan finished her sentence for her. He knew it was true. Elena was the love of his life; nothing would ever change that, but what if she never tried to bring back his memories? Could he have lived a happy, guilt free life? Stefan didn't know if he should feel happy or cheated.

"_Stefan... I..." _Elena didn't know what to say. What could she possibly say to make this situation any better? They had kissed right before he got all his memories back and he didn't know. She didn't know how to feel.

"_It's okay Elena. I understand. You just wanted me to get my memories back... So, thanks. You can go back to Damon now, I'll be fine."_ Stefan tried to tell her without sounding like his heart wasn't breaking into a million pieces. Again.

"_I shouldn't be with Damon."_ Elena blurted out before she could even think about what she was saying. It took everything in her to lift her gaze to his. She didn't want to see how he was looking at her, because she knew all she would see is his heartbreak.

"_What are you talking about Elena?"_ Stefan's eyes met hers and it was like nothing had changed between them, but that wasn't reality... Everything had changed.

"_Before you got your memories back, I remembered our memory of this place. Where I asked about our future... Our memories... I never wanted this for us Stefan. I wanted us to be together, in love. Then you kissed me for a split second and that's when you remembered everything."_ Elena told him honestly. This was it. Do or die for them.

"_You chose Damon, Elena. I sat there, listening to you confess your love to him. It broke every part of me to hear that. Did you know that? Did you know that when I was drowning over and over, you kept me from turning it all off? I hallucinated you and me together."_ Stefan said back to Elena with some venom in his voice . He didn't want to hurt her but he needed to tell her how he felt.

"_I'm so sorry Stefan! But you being gone for 3 months... that feeling of not knowing where you were or how you were, I couldn't live with myself. When I found you sitting in that chair, nothing else mattered. I thought I owed it to Damon to see what we could have, and yes I had fun with him but with you Stefan, you are everything to me. I know I don't deserve you, and I know we can't just go back to how we were but I'll always be here, waiting for that day you might be able to forgive me."_ Elena sobbed to Stefan.

Stefan didn't know what to do. Of course he would go back to her; he loved her with every fiber in his body. It was true they couldn't just go back to how they were but what they shared was real and no matter what happened, they would always find each other.

"_I love you Elena. I always have, always will."_

**My heart, it beats, beats for only you.**

**My heart is your heart.**

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**I hope you enjoyed! As always please R&R! Keep the STELENA love alive =)**


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